By Rania Iskramor
Special to the Pennsic Independent
The Pennsic Independent has received warning of a great danger facing the populace of the Pennsic War. The Soothsayers of the Circus of the Damned have predicted that a horde of vicious Vorpal Rabbits will plague the Marketplace and Food Court, starting Tuesday morning. Based on the accuracy of their Plague predictions of last year, we believe that the populace of Pennsic should make whatever preparations they can against this latest terror.
Rania Iskramor of the Circus of the Damned warns, “They look harmless all right, but if any adult messes with them, they’ll be sorry. Those things have great big, pointy teeth! The adults had best step aside and let the kids handle this problem. The innocent touch of a child lulls these critters into a harmless slumber.”
The Independent has confirmed that the creatures do exist. Johan Cervus, Pennsic’s Animal Control Officer, told Independent reporters, “We’re not sure where they came from, but they’re definitely heading toward the marketplace. They seem to be particularly hostile when approached by adults; the only specimens we have in captivity were caught by children.”
Lord Cervus has made this plea to the children, “Although it may be dangerous, I need to ask every child to scan the roads and pathways of the Food Court and Marketplace to try to locate and capture one of these rabbits and turn it in to the Circus of the Damned during the Children’s Fete on Wednesday between 1-3 pm. The best thing we can do is keep these creatures separated, so each child should only try to capture one rabbit.
The Circus of the Damned has negotiated with the Kingdom of Lochac to create a sanctuary for the captured bunnies. Queen Therasa and King Hugh believe that these creatures will find great joy in the vast expanses of Lochac’s territories and have given their blessing to relocating the bunnies to their Kingdom.
Every child that captures a Vorpal Rabbit and turns it in at the Children’s Fete will be rewarded with a Royal Commendation signed by the Monarchs of the East, Æthelmearc, Atlantia, the Middle, Lochac, Artemisia, Trimaris, Meridies, the West, Atenveldt, and Ealdormere, as well as a prize from the Circus of the Damned.
Any child not finding a rabbit on Tuesday in the Marketplace is requested to please come to the Fete in the Barn on Wednesday to help keep the creatures contained. While the members of the Circus of the Damned are fine entertainers, they are somewhat lacking in their zoo-keeping skills and will need all the help they can get while they prepare these feisty critters for the move to their new home.