By Dr. Henry Best
At the Pennsic War, the Coxcomb Academy Graduation Show was jarringly
interrupted as an Inquisitor charged the show's master of ceremonies,
Captain Matthew Christopher, with witchcraft. Captain Christopher is a well
known performer of magic tricks, some of which confound normal explanation.
The Inquisitor, brandishing a copy of the Malleus Maleficarum, bombastically
informed the Captain that his beloved ship, the H.M.S. Peregrine, had been
impounded, along with all his worldly possessions, and demanded to hear an
immediate plea to the charges of Witchcraft and Consorting with Diabolic
Powers. The erstwhile Captain, glancing around for his stage manager, Dr.
Henry Best, and finding himself high and dry without support of any kind,
pleaded "not guilty". Dr. Best, a wise and well educated man, is reported to
have fled the scene several minutes earlier upon sighting the Malleus
Maleficarum, also known as "The Witch Hammer". Christopher appealed to his
Laurel, Finn Jarl Herjolfsson, for protection. Apparently finding the
prospect of facing the Inquisition unpalatable, Finn confiscated his
apprentice's belt, saying "I am unable to protect you, and probably have
been for quite some time." The courageous Jarl then appealed to the Crown of
the Middle Kingdom for protection for his disowned apprentice, before
bravely stepping away from the Inquisitor's gaze.
King Felix, called "the Decisive", and his lovely Queen Madeleina, called
"the Bright", were in attendance at the show. Felix and Madeleina strode
boldly onto the stage and faced off the Inquisitor on Matthew's behalf.
Citing both his value as an entertainer, and his illuminating treatise on
performance magic, "The Well-Versed Conjuror's Bag of Tricks", which by
coincidence was dedicated directly to Felix and Madeleina, the Crown
pardoned Matthew Christopher of all charges, restored his goods, and charged
him to stand vigil to join the Order of the Laurel, and so be in direct
fealty to the Crown, for his own protection. Felix stated that the elevation
would take place at Northshield Coronation, and that he would create a
Laurel and a Kingdom all in one day, which this reporter deems a good day's
work for anyone.
As the crowd of Laurels, Royalty, and Inquisition left Matthew alone and
staggering upon the stage, Dr. Best made a reappearance, clipboard in hand,
and reminding Matthew that "the show must go on", bade him introduce the
next act. The Coxcomb Academy then resumed its business of showcasing the
acts of its hard working and talented students.
The rumored sightings of Capt. Matthew Christopher in the company of a cat
with sleek black fur are, at present, unconfirmed.
Vigil and Elevation Information:
Matthew Christopher will stand a vigil at the Tournament of the Rose,
September 18th. Although he welcomes advice from other peers, he is
specifically holding a vigil that day to gain advice from the Ladies of the
Rose, and will grant them precedence to speak. http://brendoken.org/rose/
The elevation will take place at the Northshield Coronation, October 16th.
Matthew will stand vigil for one hour before elevation, isolated in silent
meditation. There will be a reception following court, by grace of the new
Kingdom of Northshield, for any peers wishing to advise the new Midrealm
peer, himself only minutes older than that kingdom.
Congratulations and advice may also be sent to the vigilant at