by Beatrice de Winter
Lord Stephen Calvert deGrey was heralding for the Baronial Championship Saturday June 23, Anno Sociatatus 42 in the Barony of the Rhydderich Hael.
Upon the announcement that a new Chivalry champion was to be chosen, he called Lord Otfrid Ammerthaler into court as instructed by their Excellencies, Baron William Freskyn Murray and Baroness Katherine Kiersey. Suddenly, and with a wry smile, Baron William Freskyn Murray interjected at this time, demanding the scroll and subsequently tasking Lord Otfrid to read this missive. Unbeknownst to everyone however, the clever Lord Otfrid was secretly playing the role of "stunt herald."
Reading the scroll, he surreptitiously inserted the name "Lord Stephen Calvert deGrey" as the new Champion. Lord Calvert stared at him with a deer-in-the-headlights look, followed quickly by a sneer and a scowl as he realized that he'd been tricked. Grudgingly, he attended their Excellencies, muttering assorted curses under his breath. Baron
William, ignoring these mutterings, bestowed great words of praise to Lord Calvert for his involvement in the Barony, his willingness to assist others wherever and whenever assistance was needed, as well as his frequent concern for the welfare of the lovely Baroness. With that, Lord Stephen Calvert deGrey was presented his scroll and the other accoutrements of his title.
And so it is that the P.I.'s very own curmudgeon, Lord Calvert, was honored as Chivalry Champion of the Barony of the Rhydderich Hael for all of his hard work, dedication, and service to the dream, much to the surprise of the staff of the P.I. One member of the staff was heard to exclaim, "You're kidding, right? Calvert? You must be mistaken!"
When questioned about receiving the title of Baronial Chivalry Champion, a boisterous and befuddled Calvert stated, "I have a reputation as a rogue and a scoundrel to uphold and I would greatly like to maintain that. If you people start thinking I'm a nice person I'll never get a lick of work out of you, especially the writers. I'm still going to be that "bastard editor from Hell" no matter what anyone else says!"
However, another gentle living in the Barony, who has asked to remain anonymous, claims that Calvert is a well respected member of the Rhydderich Hael who has always been thoughtful and courteous in her presence. "Any time I've needed a hand with something at an event, he's been more than willing to do so. He's particularly helpful during The Festival of the Passing of the Ice Dragon, working as a Minister of the Lists and creating those terribly complex double elimination trees. I don't know what we'd do without him!"
(Publisher's Note: Lord Calvert is one of the finest, hard-working members of our staff. All teasing aside, we are all very proud of him and not the least bit surprised at this honor.)